The Glad Game

My oldest son has learned how to tell time. 

And not just digital time. 

He can look at the hands of a clock and know what time it is. 

And he really, really, REALLY, likes to use this new skill.

I’ll tell the three boys it is 4 o’clock and we’re leaving in 10 minutes at 4:10.

“Actually, mom, it’s 4-oh-3.  And you said we’re leaving in 10 minutes so we’re actually leaving at 4:13.”

…did I mention that he can do addition now too? 

And you can’t get mad at a kid for using necessary life skills that they’ve just learned.  You want them to practice and use them and get better and better with them. You really do.

…even if it can make you want to take a shot of tequila when they show you just how well they’ve learned these skills. 

But seriously folks, I am proud of him.  And it makes giving him time deadlines that much easier now because I can say “10 minutes” and he’ll know just how long that is on the clock.  And during the “actually” moments I keep reminding myself that. 

My Aunt Linda calls this being “Pollyanna”. 

In case you didn’t see it, Pollyanna is a movie about a little girl who is orphaned and sent to live with her aunt.  Her aunt is the richest woman in town and also the coldest.  She isn’t mean, just uninterested in anything upsetting her corner of the world.  So, Pollyanna isn’t a welcome addition.  But it’s not just her aunt.  A lot of the town is dour, fearful, and bitter. 

Pollyanna sees the world as a place of opportunity and love and happiness, despite losing her parents.  She has a locket inscribed with “When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will.” 

She also plays the Glad Game.  If you’re hit with a disappointment, you find something to be glad about. 

In other words, look for the silver lining.  Look on the positive side.  Find something to be grateful for.  Pollyanna is a master at the Glad Game. So is my Aunt Linda. You can be talking about something that is bothering your or a concern you have and she can find the positive of it. 

She sometimes apologizes for being “Pollyanna” because I’m sure there are some that get upset at being reminded of the positive.  Because we sure do like to live down in the muck of negative, don’t we? 

It never fails that she brings up a side of things I hadn’t thought of before.  And the more you make yourself think about the positive side of things, the more you foster an attitude of gratitude; the more you play the Glad Game, the more you can notice around you that there is to be glad about.

My middle son broke his leg at the beginning of the Lock Down.  Not badly, but still broke it.  It felt overwhelming.  Things weren’t going enough to pot? Let’s throw in a five year old with a broken leg. 

But as the first few days passed, I found the Glad Game taking effect. 

I was actually glad this happened during a pandemic.  It took him a couple weeks to really get mobile on his own and even then, he used a cane.  (Seriously.  It was as tall as he was and ridiculously cute.)  I couldn’t imagine him trying to get around school. 

The playground would’ve been impossible.  The classroom HARD.  And going to the bathroom?  I don’t think he’d have been able to go at school because he couldn’t do it on his own. 

It was, oddly enough, the perfect time for him to break his leg. 

He has a condition that affects the right side of his body, making it a little weaker, physically, than the left.  And he broke his left leg.  His strong leg.  The leg that did most of the balancing and “work”.  Now, his right leg was having to carry the load.  For the first time, it was really, REALLY working.   It’s stronger now than it ever has been because of the break. 

And finally, breaking his leg made his brothers better friends.

My oldest and youngest can sometimes have a contentious relationship.  They would not be each other’s first choice when it comes to playing.  But now?  Their buffer couldn’t keep up.  He couldn’t climb trees.  He couldn’t ride bikes.  He couldn’t jump on the trampoline.  He couldn’t run with them.  For the first time, they were forced to be each other’s first choice. 

And it’s been awesome.  Don’t get me wrong, there can still be plenty of arguing. But that is balanced now by the other half of their relationship.

They have a secret handshake now. 

And it’s adorable.  And cool. 

You could call me a “Pollyanna”.  You could claim that I didn’t fully understand the gravity of the situation or I wouldn’t have been able to find anything positive. 

And sometimes?  Sometimes you can’t. 

I’m not going to give away the ending of Pollyanna.  But something happens that steals her joy.  Her gladness is gone.  And she’s not interested in finding it again. 

Sometimes the gratitude is really hard to find.  Because the sadness is so deep.  The fear is so big.  The pain so loud. 

What do you do then? 

Hopefully, you’ve got people that love you.  That can surround you.  That aren’t going to try and fix the pain.  They’re just going to be there and say “I love you.”  Through words or actions.

And hopefully, HOPEFULLY, you’ve got God.

It can be impossible to find a silver lining.  To find the gratitude.  To look for the glad.

Or is it? 

I believe with all my heart that if you allow it (and sometimes even if you don’t), your pain can serve a purpose. All of it can be given to God and used for His glory.

And it is often that we are called to be a Pollyanna.  This can be hard.  Or irritating.  Or even painful.  But not impossible.  Because nothing is impossible with God.      

I suffered through infertility.  It was painful.  So, so painful.  Yes, I now have three amazing children but even before they were born, God started using my experience.  Even before I said that I wanted all the pain to not be a waste, to please use it for a purpose, THAT started happening.

I have been able to pray with and rejoice with and cry with so many women.  I have been able to EMPATHIZE with them and put words to what they’re feeling. 

And I’m glad of it. 

I have anxiety.  I hate it.  I wish it would go away.  I don’t want this pain. 

But because of it, I have been able to talk to more people and be an encouragement or a sounding board or even just a lesson in it to them.  And I am glad of that. 

I am not glad for the death of my grandparents.  But so, so glad I got to, get to, trust in Jesus with them.  And so glad I can rest in the knowledge that they aren’t lost.

I am glad of the craziness of my schedule (or really my husband’s schedule) so I can understand a frazzled time frame.

I am glad for puzzles and how they are making the five of us work together.

I am glad that I’ve gotten to be selfish with my family for two months.

I am glad that takeout and food delivery is a real thing.   

I am glad for my little boys so I can understand the difference between rowdy and violent. 

I am glad that Sonic and Starbucks are still open. 

I am glad for the cold because then my house is cozy.

I am glad for the heat because then my skin is golden and warm.

And I am actually glad for a son that can now tell time. 

• Photo from Pollyanna by Walt Disney Studies