New Things

Everybody needs teenagers in their life that their small children love.  LOVE.  Love so much that they miss them when they leave for college.  Love so much they get super excited when you and your husband are going to leave for the night and they get to ‘hang out’.  And love so much you want to take them to those teens’ extracurricular activities in support. 

Because you love them too.  And you love how they love your kids. 

I took my sons tonight to see Newsies the musical.  Those teenagers that we love were in it and did a great job.  A GREAT job.  My kids bought it hook, line, and sinker.  So much so that during a kiss on stage, one of my twins said, “Gross, Lauren”.  Followed by, “Is that her boyfriend now?”

…you should try whispering to a five year old the concept of a stage kiss during the romantic interlude of a musical.  And then having to warn him that they’re probably going to kiss again.  And not to say “Gross”.

Twin A did great.  Especially considering he was exhausted and had worn way too many layers and was burning up.  He curled in his chair or sat in my lap and loved seeing his friends but was more just waiting for the other parts to be over so he could see Luke and Lauren again. 

Twin B was invested from the beginning.  He was the commentator.  And the reaction giver.  Good guy makes a joke?  You’re going to get a laugh.  Good guy gets hit?  A solid gasp.  Tumbling in the dances?  Jaw dropped.  Twist in the plot?  Real concern that comes from not understanding how story lines typically work.  A perfect audience member. 

My oldest on the other hand?  He’s a much tougher sell. 

See, my oldest likes what he likes and doesn’t understand the need to be introduced to anything new.  He’ll claim something as his favorite TV show but only have watched three episodes.  The same three episodes.  Every.  Single. Time. 

He can eat the same thing every single day and listen to the same 5 songs because why would he need anything more?

I am not built like that.  That isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy repetition, I do.  I have favorite shows and favorite moments in those shows and songs I can listen to on repeat.  And meals I can eat over and over.  But I still enjoy trying new things.  Sometimes I’m really not looking forward to doing something new, but I do it anyway. 

Kind of like tonight. 

I was exhausted.  (Am exhausted.  I really want to go to bed but this needs to get written or I’ll regret it.)  The kids were exhausted.  And we had been out running errands.  We wolfed down dinner so that we could make it to the show on time.  I really wanted to stay at home but we had already committed and I knew my kids would love it and we love Lauren and Luke.  And I would love going too.   

So we did. 

And what does the oldest start doing?  Talking about how excited he is that his mom has provided this new opportunity for him and how great it is that he’s supporting his friends?  NOPE. 

He’s whining about finishing Zootopia.  Then he’s whining about having to go to bed when he gets home.  Then he’s complaining about he how wishes I would give him whatever he wants.  (Seriously.  That’s his new line of guilt. “Mom, I just really wish you would get upset when I’m sad and then give me what I want.”  He’s said that to me.  A couple of times.)

…did I respond like a mature adult?  Did I too lament my rigidity and apologize for the pain I was causing his little heart?

Not even close. 

We’re literally pulling into the High School parking lot and I am yelling at him from behind the steering wheel.  I’m not being mean, just forceful.  Then he starts sniffling and says that bit about wishing I would give him whatever he wants. 

…then I got a little mean. 

“Fine.  From here on out, when I take your brothers to cool new things, I’ll hire a babysitter for you.  You can stay at home by yourself and watch Zootopia or the same episode of the same show while we go do something cool.”

Sigh. 

I love trying new things.  A new restaurant.  A random fork on a walking trail.  A new recipe.  A new vacation spot.  Even with my love of new things, I sometimes have to talk myself into them. Like bungee jumping.  Like eating a fish’s eyeball.  Like going to what I thought was a war-torn country on vacation.  Like scuba diving.  I don’t want to regret NOT doing something or trying something.    

I’m afraid of swimming in the ocean.  I love it.  I really do.  But I’ve also been a lover of Shark Week since I was little.  And oddly those two things didn’t cancel each other out, just modified each other.  Throw in my quirk about missing something due to fear and you’ve got the recipe for one of the most tense scuba diving experiences ever.

Because sometimes that happens.  Sometimes it’s horrible.  Sometimes it’s just “not so bad”.  And sometimes you learn something that you don’t ever need to repeat.  But sometimes?  Sometimes it’s not only great, but fantastic. 

Bungee jumping?  I’m really glad I did it.  Even if I had to be pushed off the tower.  But I learned that I do NOT enjoy the feeling of dropping and then continuing to drop.  I do not need to experience that again.  (And the full body soreness that comes the next day from being so completely whole body tense.)

Eating a fish’s eyeball?  It was gross.  Shockingly gross.  But I’m still glad I did it.  Because one of my twins did it too and will routinely say “Mom!  Remember when I ate that fish’s eyeball?!  You ate it too!  It did not taste good.”  And we all laugh over the gross experience.  Because we did it together.

The war-torn country?  It was repaired and experiencing growth and stability.  Had been for years.  My knowledge had been off and out of date.  It was an incredible vacation and I would definitely go back.  I also now have a permanent affection for the Croatian soccer team.   

And scuba diving?  It was incredible.  Once I got over the almost hyperventilating underwater part.  I’m so glad I did it, and I’d do it again. 

I don’t know if I’ve always been like that.  Maybe as a child I fought new experiences too.  Maybe I’d rather stay at home and watch the same movie for the 200th time.  I don’t really remember my attitude.  I just remember going. 

That’s one of the best things I learned from my family.  To go.  That sometimes things might not work out but you should still go.  Say yes, take the kids, and go.  It can be big or it can be small.  Just experience things.  Eat the food.  Talk to the stranger.  See the show.   

And in doing so you’ll learn that new isn’t bad.  It isn’t something to be avoided.  Different isn’t wrong. 

I feel very, very strongly about this.  About exposing my kids to new things.  Big and small.  Simple and complicated.  It’s to enrich their life, yes.  To teach them to find worship in all things, all places.  To celebrate the creation of our Creator.  That God is present EVERYWHERE and nothing and nowhere can keep you from Him. 

We’ve been given this incredible world and it’s full of amazing things.  I want them to learn to SEE them.

But it’s more than that.  I want them to see the people in it.  They need to see the people in it.  That’s part of my job.  To raise them to SEE.  To not turn away because it makes them uncomfortable.  Or because it’s new.  Or strange.  Or dirty.  Or loud.  Or sad. 

Because they will be uncomfortable.  They will be.  As a follower of Christ that’s in the job description.  We are to see and to go.  Not because we want to but because we need to.  Whether that means living in a far flung country or serving in your back yard.  As a servant of Christ and lover of the Lord, we’ve committed to LOVE.  And that isn’t always familiar.  Especially when the Holy Spirit gets involved. 

You may be with the same people every day at work and then the Spirit will move and you are supposed to pray for them.  RIGHT NOW.  It may be strange.  It may be uncomfortable.  It may even be illegal. 

If I can show my sons new things and give them new experiences and introduce them to new food and new music and new places and new people, then maybe, MAYBE, if the Spirit leads them to someplace, someone, something new, they won’t balk.  Even if it’s as easy as supporting loved ones.

At intermission of Newsies, I asked what they thought and my oldest said, “Mom, I actually like it.”

I’m happy to report that I responded maturely this time.  I didn’t say I told you so.  I didn’t rub it in.  I wasn’t sarcastic.  In fact, I apologized.  I told him I was sorry for what I said in the car and didn’t mean it.  I was just frustrated and tired but shouldn’t have yelled that at him.  And that I won’t ever leave him behind.    

Through the next act he bounced in his seat and gasped and asked to listen to the music on the ride home and meet “Jack”.  He told our friends how much he liked the show and even his favorite parts. 

If I have to take my kids kicking and screaming to new things, I will.  Because it’s too important to NOT.  And because we have quite the library of references of the Lord doing the same for us.  Over and over again. 

And because God is good and loving and KNOWING, not only will we have the opportunity to better someone else’s life, but ours too.  Like only a good parent can.  You’ll like this.  I know you will.  “I won’t!  How do you know?!” Because I know you.  And thank goodness for that. 

*Lauren and Luke?  You guys killed it.  Seriously.  You were wonderful and convincing and looked great too.  Thank you for loving my children.  Lindsey, you too.  Thank you for loving my three energy balls and being such great examples for them.  We love you.